07 Juni 2009

What Team Fortress 2 Character Are You?

No, this isn't a stupid webquiz, mainly because I think they're stupid. That being said, I often find such quizzes amusing, but come on, we all know that:

1. Such quizzes are often written in such a way that is hardly rigorous.
2. Even if they were, people often (sub)conciously tailor their responses to meet the answer they want.
3. I don't have a point 3.

But, on to the main show!

Nick: man the heavy's simile (Note: I'm assuming Nick means "smile"... or maybe he means metaphor, I don't know.) is so similar to yours that it creeps me out
Me: Haha.
Me: That's what people say.
Me: Now, if I were mowing down people with a minigun, could you imagine me laughing maniacally?
Me: Relishing in the death and destruction?
Nick: no question

So instead of a stupid quiz, let's look at the other characters!

The Heavy: Laughs maniacally when killin' (++), loves a good sandvich (+), bald (-), interesting non-sensical rationale/moments of clarity (+), seemingly singular focus in combat (-), seemingly singular focus in life (-), HAS A FUCKING GATLING GUN (note, it's not technically a minigun insofar as it's not a 7.62 mm NATO M134 or even a 5.56 mm NATO XM214; in fact, it's probably closer to a M61 Vulcan...) (++), has the ability to shoot invisible bullets with his hand (+)

The Scout: New Jersey accent (+ for Erik, neutral for me), not much of a stand-up fighter (-)

The Soldier: Crazy military guy (++), non-sensical rationale (++), has a guttral battle cry (+), wasn't actually accepted into the military (--), knows how to operate a lot of different firearms (+)

The Pyro: Fire, while useful, isn't a primary weapon for me (-), also has a maniacal laugh (+), has a hadouken taunt (+)

The Demoman: A drinker (+), only one eye (clearly, all demomen must have one eye)(-), likes to blow stuff up (+)

The Engineer: Cool and calm personality bordering on sociopathic (+), likes to build stuff (+), also likes to blow stuff up (+), generally relies on other things to do his killing (--)

The Medic: Creepy German accent (+), creepy German accent (-), likes to make Horrible jokes (+)

The Sniper: Rifleman (+), has a plan (+), drinks his coffee (assumedly) black (+), has annoying parents (that we've confirmed) (--),

The Spy: French accent (-), wears a suit (-), good knife play/work (+), also not a stand-up fighter (-), uses a revolver (+)

And, of course, none of those pluses or minuses is quantitative. The list also isn't complete. It's sort of like that Simpsons episode where Moe proves that he's the best bartender and ends up with a face makeover.

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