11 Juni 2009

More Pseudoscientific Units!

So, no one else suggested anything, but I think we're going to go with the following:

Douchery will be measured in Pratts (Pr), for Spencer Pratt; here's an example of his douchery. Note: The abbreviation will not be "P," as that is the symbol for poise (on a side note, measuring viscosity is a kind of annoying exercise). I, unfortunately, don't know how to zero this scale or have any useful comparisons; I suppose I could make Spencer Pratt = 1 Pr, but there are a couple of issues here:

1. That would make most everything else in fractional Pratts, but I guess that's okay. I mean, most of the time, things are measured in fractional Tesla, right?
2. It's a moving target; the trend for Spencer Pratt's douchery is to increase. That is to say that his douchery is non-static. I suppose we could freeze him and store him at some institute of standards... I mean, I'm all for freezing him.
3. This really isn't an issue, but I have a suggestion on how to make Pratts even more representative of douche-y: it should be a non-Metric unit. So, 7 Pratts = 1 Cruise (Cr) (this is merely an example. I don't know how to compare Spencer Pratt to Tom Cruise).

Frustration will be measured in Friscos (Fi). I should go back and expand on how much I dislike that person to really build a more complete profile of frustration. Also, in keeping with the idea of being frustrated, I again propose that Friscos be non-Metric. Another unit of frustration should be Claw Shrimp (CS)... how about 13 Fi = 1 CS?

Please, make more suggestions as you see fit.

1 Kommentar:

cs268ozan hat gesagt…

I really think claw shrimp is much more specific than frustration. Claw shrimp happens in very specific circumstances. Frisco can be any type of frustration.