27 April 2009

ESPN and the Konami Code

So, I've seen the Konami Code in a lot of strange places, but this is one of the stranger implementations in terms of location (ESPN) and effect (rainbow ponies). You'll note the publication date of that article to be a non 1 Apr day. You'll also note, unfortunately, that the function has been removed from the ESPN site. Instead, go take a look at Google's cache of the page. Thanks Google!

P.S. I believe that the "start" button isn't technically part of the code, but is the key you have to press to execute the code. For ESPN, the "enter" key (as in the article) will be your equivalent.

Hau: so awesome hahahah
Hau: and then keep pressing buttos
Hau: buttons after you input the code
Hau: hahahaha
Hau: this is so ridiculously entertaining

(For later, perhaps include a reference to the song "front front back back side to side")

17 April 2009

The most horrible dream!

I had a really bad dream last night. To make this post short: I somehow got a huge case of beer and was having it transported by truck or something. The truck hit a bump and all of the bottle caps just sort of popped off, spewing the beer everywhere. To really capture the emotion, imagine what scholars must have felt when the Library of Alexandria burned down. Well, maybe it's not that bad; I get the feeling it was cheap beer.

13 April 2009

Yeah, I hate fallen eyelashes in my eyes.

However, a fallen eyelash in my eye is not what I discovered this morning. It felt kind of the same way (mild discomfort) as an errant eyelash, but when I checked under my eyelids in the mirror, I noticed a black bump. There was a very brief moment of panic (what the fuck is a black bump doing under my eyelid?) until I realized that the bump wasn't attached to the skin. No, in fact, it was freely moving as I moved my eyelid. This, in turn, was followed by the memory of feeling a bug hit my eye as I was running yesterday... I'm sure you can guess where this is going.

Do note, I had my run yesterday at around 6:30 PM. I didn't discover and remove the bug from my eye until 8:30 AM. That means the bug had been sitting in my eye for about fourteen hours. The poor thing probably died as a result of being caught (the moisture of my eyes probably kept it adhered) and being crushed by a blink.

In other news, if you've looked at my eyelids, you'll know that I have an epicanthal fold. I'm okay with the fact that it makes my eyes look more "Asian," but I'm not okay with the fact that they do suck. I'm not sure, but I think the topography of my upper eyelids make them less effective at channeling away sweat from my eyes (as I'm running or exercising, for example), and also influences the angle at which my eyelashes protrude. The former point is pretty self-explanatory. The latter? Well, I suspect (and I stress that word) that eyelashes are more likely to fall inwards into my eye than away as a result of this. Also, when I get those eye-puff tests for pressure, the puff of air again pushes the lashes into my eyeball. As a result, I've only done that test successfully exactly once my entire life.

Conclusion: I hate my eyelids. I will not get the cosmetic surgery for them though.

Supposedly, there is a suggestion that such an eyelid shape makes me better suited for brightly lit areas, such as snowy areas (snow reflects light pretty damned well; I once sunburned my eyes but that's a story for another day). I do like the cold and the snow, so maybe those eyelids aren't so bad...

06 April 2009

And I read them!

So, I went ahead and read all three volumes of Cat Shit One that were set in Vietnam; a quick read at about two to three hours. There are a couple more volumes that take place in the late eighties (the descriptions seem to suggest the Iran Hostage Crisis).

So, having read the comics, I have confirmed that they're pretty good. Why? Well, for one, I'm a military anorak, so I can't really help it. Just don't lump me in with Tom Clancy; that guy has no imagination and is a complete whack-job. The level of realism (from my perspective as an informed, non-expert enthusiast) is pretty good. There are some good footnotes and references for the times that military lingo is used in addition to some neat mid-volume inserts with some background information.

Second, these three volumes are set during the Vietnam War, which is one of my two favorite wars. Now before you go nuts about how I could even have a "favorite war," let me explain. The conflict in Vietnam was and is still quite interesting to me. The lines weren't as clear as wars previous (like World War II), the horrors and futilities of war fighting were more apparent (compared to other previous conflicts) in some ways, there was a lot of assymetry in how the conflicts were carried out... I could go on for awhile. What can I say -- there's just something about Vietnam.

Third, the main focus of the stories involves special operations (not to be confused with Special Forces); if I am enthusiastic about the military, I'm especially so for special operations. Heck, there's even a weird sort of cameo/recurring character in the real life Charles Beckwith, otherwise known as the main founder of our 1-SFOD.

If you like Vietnam era conflict, also take a look into the Punisher Born comics; they are similarly fucking awesome.

Thanks Hau!

Hau: omg omg
Hau: http://x6e.xanga.com/3a581be6236a0238824358/b144589668.jpg

So yes, I guess I do play an instrument!

Although, if I did play the gun as an instrument, it certainly wouldn't be a Beretta. That's like playing a viola. What would a gun-playing musician be called? I wonder...

Update! (A suggestion from Hau)

Hau: you know
Hau: i think it'd be made better if, if you were in the picture, you were in there looking somewhat psychotic
Hau: and waving around two handguns
Hau: while everyone else is just standing there looking as though nothing is out of the norm

Okay guys, who has portable instruments?

This whole thing reminds me of a SNL sketch (S34E14) spoofing a NESW Sports video (yeah, I don't know what NESW is either) featuring Steve Martin as Billy “The Gun” Van Goff. I think the picture speaks for itself:

Since we're basically on the topic of how everything is better with a gun, the classic reference (especially for me) is The Simpsons episode, The Catridge Family (S9E5). I will endeavor to make a relevant Simpsons reference to cap off every post, as denoted by the tag "the simpsons".

I'm sorry our collective water pipe broke.

Originally, I wanted to write an angry rant about how childish some of our neighbors are. And by some, I really mean one family.

Anyway, how about some background? On 1 Mar 2009 (around noon), there was a landslide near my house. As it turns out, the waterpipe under that earth had burst which was probably the cause for all that dirt-pushing. Aside from the immediate consequences of being evacuated from our house and our next door neighbor's family losing their backyard, the top 75% of our neighborhood was without running water until 13 Mar 2009. Obviously, for those days in-between, tensions were running high because of the following issues and concerns:

1. What caused the pipe to burst? Was it the landslide? Or did the pipe burst and cause the landslide? Basically, was it pipe burst->landslide or landslide->pipe burst->more landslide?
2. Based on (1), who was then responsible? Our family for not maintaining the land properly? Or the pipe, leading to:
3. Who's in charge of the pipe's maintenance?
4. Obviously, no running water within that time meant that cooking, cleaning, and showering were all difficult propositions.

For some of our neighbors, particularly those who are new and/or don't know us, it was easy to lose track the situation in the "fog of war." And when your quality of life is directly impacted, it's easy to blame us (the Chens) as somehow having caused the whole situation. I mean, most people I know feel better about a shitty situation if they have someone to blame. Now, take that anger and then imagine that the Chens are trying to get the entire neighborhood to collectively pay for the repairs? Yeah, you'd probably be pissed.

So I, as this impacted family, would probably want some words with the Chens. I would also probably want the contractors doing the clean-up and repairs to work longer hours and more days (around the clock would be nice) -- I mean, come on, I'm suffering right? Who cares about anyone else. My suffering is also more pronounced than any of the other neighbors, so I have a right to bitch and whine.

I would also probably demand that the Chens organize a meeting between the neighbors and the contractors to dictate the terms of the repair work. So that's what I say to Mrs. Chen. She says, okay, I'll organize the contractors and you organize the neighbors. So that's what I do, except the only people I bring along are (concidentally) the other families who are of the same race as me. Yeah, that's subtle. I'm guessing I also am from an earlier or more primitively simple time when all arguments arose and were dealt with along racial lines.

Anyway, back to the present and as myself, Andrew Chen. Today, the neighbors came over for a sit-down to discuss the situation. That same neighbor started making subtle and not-so-subtle threats. I would consider them idle and silly (but nonetheless irritating) threats. My friends have proposed four response strategies:

1. Ozan: maybe you should "accidentally" let them catch you cleaning your gun.

This is basically invoking the over-protective father idea. So, in the future, say I have a daughter. Say there's a boy who asks her out and comes by the house to pick her up. I'm probably spying on my daughter's communications, so I know in advance that this is happening. I then decide to clean my shotguns near the front door as the boy walks in. "Oh," I'd say, "I wasn't expecting visitors. But since you're here, why don't you look down this shotgun barrel and tell me if it's clean or not?" Oh, and watch as I reload my shotgun really fast... in case I use up all of the rounds in my magazine and I just really need four more rounds to shoot at someone.

In reality, I don't think I'd do that out of some need to be protective; I assume if my daughter was of my blood, she's probably more than capable of taking care of herself. I would still do it though... only because I enjoy awkward situations AND I could say that I was "making memories!"

2. Ethan: you should seriously march into that meeting and play the angry son rebuking your neighbor and the ubsurdity of his/her claim

This seems more reminiscent of Six Feet Under's Nate Fisher. I think you'd have to see the show to get what I mean. To be fair, I haven't watched the show recently nor in its entirety, so I could be completely wrong.

3. Albert: if you convince them your family is crazy they won't fuck with you

This is perhaps my most favorite suggestion, if only because it invokes in me Tyler Durden's confrontation with Lou of Lou's Tavern. The hilarity ensues around 1:29 but doesn't really make my point until 2:12. Albert also suggested that this be followed by running in to the meeting room naked after having taken a shower.

4. Pat: invite over some black people to your house somewhat frequently for the next few weeks. the neighbors will leave you alone.

I assume that Pat made this suggestion because he has accurately surmised that my neighborhood has no black people in it. I also assume that the one family we seem to be having problems with are essentially of the bully mindset, and have no real idea of what they're doing. They're also close-minded.

Vote on what you think I should do!

05 April 2009

And more Cat Shit One! Or Apocalypse Meow!

I got ahold of some Apocalypse Meow. I'm kind of excited. Then again... I do have a huge amount of comics that I need to catch up on, so who knows when I'll get to it.

You think you have bad dreams?

Just imagine this:

Actually, that's kind of unrelated; I just think it's a funny picture. Well, not really. My bed happens to be next to a window to my backyard, and the moon catches the whole area pretty well. It can be pretty... eerie at times. And the thought of a creepy face randomly popping up did used to keep me awake at night. Anyway, I'll have to post some of my dreams sometime...

03 April 2009

Oh, what's in a name...

So, my friend Peter stumbled across this:

A couple of things:

1. Why the hell is Andrew "Ibex Lips"? I didn't know what an "ibex" was at first, but I discovered that it probably relates to wild goats. I guess that's okay, I'm supposed to be a Capricorn... but it's just unfair. I mean, compare this to:

2. Peter the Facebreaker. Peter's got a fucking awesome nickname. It easily relates to Warhammer Ogre naming conventions which is appropriate because Peter is fucking tall.

3. More kids should be named Judas and/or Iscariot. It's like Adolf; no one can use any of those names now because of the famous namesakes, but otherwise, those names are pretty awesome. Adolf, for example, has an awesome derivation/meaning. And going to the fictional, Judas Iscariot was invoked for a special demon-hunting unit of the Vatican in the manga/anime series Hellsing.

4. Why do I not have any friends named John, James, or Jude? That's pretty self-explanatory.

Google Searches and Xbox 360 Achievements

So, as most people know, I am obssessed with Xbox 360 Achievement points:

As anyone who is similarly addicted to improving their Gamerscore, there comes a point where one has to decide whether or not serious "boosting" (that is, really cheesy behavior just to improve one's Gamerscore) is called for. I decided to take a look as to how easy this is without actually taking the step (for now). What resulted? A little Google auto complete-like humor:

But enough about that. This is what I found:

1. Easiest 1000G
If you want both to get a lot of points and get 100% of the points in that game, Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Burning Earth is that game. AtBE has the somewhat dubious distinction of being able to earn all 1000G in five achievements in about 5 minutes.

2. A Quick 6000G
Gamespot has a pretty good and quick guide to do this. The quick summary: you can rent these (mostly EA sports) games and boost your score quite a bit and quickly.

3. More Recent List of Easy Achievement Boosting Games
A quick and easy list of games to get 100% of the achievements in can be found here. Notice how three of games are FIFA soccer games? Five more are sports related. Makes you wonder about how much thought is put into these games beyond the sports action; but I suppose that's not surprising given how a sequel is made every year in a particular (mostly EA... did I say that already?) sport franchise. I mean, you have to get capture all the the new changes, right...?

4. The 10 Xbox Live Achievement Commandments
This one really isn't about boosting, but I thought it was kind of funny.